Utter Rubbish: Entertainment

All that untapped potential

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 17:29:54 GMT

No, I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about Nigeria. It dawned on me a couple of years ago, that there are so many business routes that Nigeria hasn't taken.

Let's see:

Tourism - With all those Rocks (e.g Olumo Rock), Waterfalls (e.g Erin-Ijesa/Erin-Ijesha waterfalls, u knw where d hot & cold water meet, that was cool), d slavery house/depots/snatch centrals, d museums (family actually went there once, those bullets holes in Murtala's car were crazy), the Game Reserves (Yankari). All those excursions I took in Fowler (yes people, I was a VFMC girl, now get over it.) , they were good for something. To be sincere, I really don't know much about Nigerian wild life, since I grew up in Lagos, but we sure as hell have loads of livestock. We have the Atlantic Ocean & absolutely no surfers (I blame those worshippers, who are always at the beach), there's Takwa Bay. Anyhoo, I just mentioned those places from the top of my head, there are many more that I haven't covered. We same to have loads of foreign immigrants (you should see the nautrialization section in the paper, it's like a mini phone book) with the Lebanese as the highest foreign minority. Plus everything's organic, except when you go to the posh supermarkets of course.
Movies - We are already the third largest film producing country. Movies are churned out faster than Paris Hilton's brainwaves (bad analogy since anything's faster than.........). I'm still waiting for an addition to the Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars. C'mon, I settle for the long list. There could seriously take their time and actually produce, edit the movie and actually have a big budget. We seriously need a big Harmattan movie (err.. people, we only have 2 seasons - Rainy & Dry/Harmattan seasons), honestly, I would be at the front line at the cinema. Maybe, more sci-fi, less supernatural, romance and drama. Remember,sometimes quality is better than quantity.
Comics: It's no secret, that I'm a comic fiend. I'm an X-Woman, Wolverine, Storm & Rouge till I die. Anyhoo, the only Nigerian comics I know are the comic strips. It's been a while since I read Captain Africa, a brillant detective who obviously wore tights. Adam & Eve, a comical take on the World's first humans. Cain & Abel (for some absurd reason, I'm now having doubts about A&E. Ahh...my memory's such a fickle creature). Then there was a strip about an independent woman - which actually ended during my time - that for the life of me, I cannot remember its/her name. Anyhoo, there are loads of talented Nigerian artists (an uncle & a cousin of mine are outter this world, who only draw as a hobby). Sidebar: I actually have an idea for a comic/graphic novel to pass the time, you could draw for me. **queue nice voice & begging** Apparently, we had our first Nigeria Comic-Con in 2004. The first comic book shop opened in 2006, Planet Comics in Kaduna (darn, I ain't driving there!). Although, a lot of us have been reading comics longer than that. Plus, why am I never around?? Anyhoo, I'm kinda surprised there havn't done a comic about NIgerian gods, Biafra, IBB, Abacha & the whole military regime, so much material. C'mon, Frederick Forsyth pratically gave you Ojukwu (the General) in The Dogs of War. Oh well, here's to hoping.
Animation: The Nigerian animation industry is almost non-existant, even though there are probably Nigerian animators working in the animation industry. Hey, I could be very wrong, just found out they are going to be releasing the first Nigerian animated movie. Someone was actually paying attention, with a budget of 80 million naira (way smaller than most, but definately higher than your average nigerian movie). Anyhoo, it's called Lifespan, a story of a royal clan of mosquitoes, situated in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria, over 4000 years ago, who are looking for a magical cure for ......wait for it........malaria. They want to co-exisit with the human race, since they are tired of killing them. Unfortunately, that's the only article, I've found and it's a year old, but here's to hoping.
Medicine: Being a country plagued by mosquitoes (yup, they just keep coming!), and being the Mother of Africa and all you'd expect, malaria to be a thing of the past. Although, I haven't had malaria in 6 years now (since I became an International Student, they've kinda grown some prejudice. Apparently, they don't like the junk food). Unfortunately, the medicine sector aludes since I'm chicken, when it comes to all things medicine-related. Let's just say, I'm never donating blood, since I never complete my medication.
Business: Dandote is King, since he's now officially the richest African and second richest black person in the world behind Mohammed Al Amoudi. Dude is richer than Oprah. Anyhoo, I don't actually have the energy to go into this, cause it would be a very long essay and I have forgotten what I was going to type. It had something to do with crops, you know the whole organic angle. The whole fact that Nigeria used to make millions with palm oil, groundnuts and other what what-nots. Plus a whole lot of business babble, that I kinda zoned out on.
Music: The Nigerian music scene is thriving locally, but not internationally. Although, we throw some kick ass music festivals/concerts that bring the big cats. We still need to project ourselves to the international sector, where all the money's at, since the big wig labels will only be distributing. All the old hands have a niche in the World Music (which i still say is over simplified) - Fela Kuti's music lives on, Femi's still a second and less crazy to his father, King Sunny Ade still rocking, Lagbaja still intrigues people. Where are the young'ns? Why should the [United States of] Americans be the only ones, who are famous locally and internationally. C'mon, there are two American continents, seriously. 2Face almost made it stateside, but Kennis Music/his manager did not captitalise it as much as they could have. Asa is making some waves in Europe, she was on Jools in April[?]. Look music is universal. Comment - Does she actually play the guitar? Cause she always has it on her televised performances, but she's never actually playing it. There's always this dude on the background doing the killer acoustics. Hmmm......she was also on Trevor Nelson's Sessions. Okay young'ns sign up to Asa management now! Hope Agbaya's music kick up a storm, but I can now safely say I know people in the Nigerian music industry. 4th republic and fastbreak music fan by association. Free advertising for you kiddies.

At the end of the it all boils down to leadership and management. With corrupt bastards (no offence to their children, but you know your pops are assholes, some of you even inherited their assholiness) scheming through to make their trillions (in naira, of course. If I decided to say it in pounds, you'd drop), all you tend to get is stagnation. So much for serving and protecting your country. Imagine, my dad got a phone call informing him that Lamidi Adedibu had died that morning, my dad replied "Thank God". After the call, he ponders for a minute, looks at me and says "How can you say "Thank God" and celebrate when someone has died?" I remind him that people were throwing parties, when Abacha died. With a sad look on his face, he repeats his question and then sighs.

wow, I didn't use text/net speak, this must be serious. Now, I am going to watch Donna and Rose turning left.

American telly

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 15:31:55 GMT

Wow, 4 sm1 who hasn't blogged in [almost] 3 months, I get ratha decent hits. Anyhoo, American telly - y oh y, do they make shows? They get u addictd 2 'em & cancel 'em afta 1 season. Either d American public/executives r stupid or they keep showin' good programmin' @ d same time. Or I just like watchin' anythin' comic based, sci-fi, supernatural, not reality tv, sexually tensiond, great [sometimes wooden] chemistry, guns blazin, blood suckin', & [sometimes] predictable stuff. I kinda 4got d juicy words - verbs?adverbs?adjectives? Wow, & English's my 1st & only language. Well, no more Yankie tv 4 me, I give up! Since I'm outside their jurisdiction, my opinon doesn't count. Could those dudes shut up already! Geez, livin' above a car park & next door 2 a pub kinda sucks. As I was "sayin'"....... At least, Chuck, Reaper & d gorgeous Pushing Daises have been renewed. But how could they cancel Aliens in America?? Ok, I knew d kid was an xchange student 4 a yr, but I expectd @ least 2 seasons. Plus, who were d idiots that voted Anna Friel & Hugh Laurie wit d worst American accents. U've gotta b kiddin' me. Could I hear an American effect a Brummie, Geordie or Cockney accent without soundin' like Dick Van Dyke or Arnie on helium? Seriously, u kiddies need 2 watch a Beeb programme, that's where u'd find atrocious American accents. Remember, d black dude on Jekyll or that chic dat got vampd in Being Human [whoopie, its goin' 2b a series in '09. Now, cud those 3 leads pls free schedules already?], it just went all ova d place, she cud hv just been wateva she was. I kept yellin' "Kill her already!", then when she poppd up @ d end - "Crap, she's undead, stake her! Gorram stake her! Holy water that ho." Ok, I just made up dat last 1, damn dat gorram child & his catchy, but lyrically deficient song.

Congrats 2 The Bama. D only time, I watchd anythin' 2 do wit d US elections was 2 watch Hillary's speech, cuz I tot she'd commit seppuku. No, she turnd & said go 2 my site & tell me wat 2 do, it's ur choice, I did it all 4 u. You've gotta luv politicians, always d humanitarians. Also, saw McCain speech, funny old man & his whole spin on The Bama's [I can't help it, I just luv remixin' his name] slogan. Altho, I kept expectin' d Cainator, to kinda drop dead durin' his rusin' speech. Or drop dead if he got sworn in. 4 some absurd reason, evry1 wants 2b his VP. As 4 d Shady Clinton™®© [Bossip], she kinda messd herself up. She was supposd 2b a shoe-in, but wit all d [alleged] propaganda, that lie & host of ill-advised advices, she kinda dug her own grave. I still wish it was str8 Shady vs Bama, now that wud have been in-ta-rest-in. Now d Hillmeister cud b lucky & get Bam Bam's + 1, but it may go against d whole "Change We Can Believe In" logic. Now imagine d ticket Barack Obama/Hillary Rodham Clinton.......... loads of rednecks, bigots & misogynists have just keeld over. Now imagine President Barack Hussein Obama Jr.......... KKK's commited mass suicide, don't 4gt d red necks, bigots & d christian extremists, yes ppl every religion has its extremeists.

To answer that dude's question - No, I haven't got d PD fanatics achievement, wud hv answerd sooner but I 4got. + it's partially ur fault since ur blog is restrictd 2 me. Common sense ppl, common sense. D Doctor's on in less than 3 hrs, shiny. Yes ppl, I just rewatchd my Firefly DVDs. kuso (糞,くそ) Joss Whendon, now u release d gorram Collector's Edition of Serenity, scheiße! Amazin', I know shit in 3 languages. Courtesy of too much Naruto, German FLAW & of course English. Speakin' of Naruto, it's amazin' all I knew bout anime was Pokemon & Digimon [seems like 10 yrs ago, crap it WAS 11 yrs ago [if u count their original japanese dates] scheiße I'm ancient, never watchd d original J-dubs tho]. The kid wit blond spiky hair [now complete wit sideburns], a demon resident & a quirk, u know dattebayo, this dattebayo that [wat in d name of f-ery is "believe it"?! I've neva eva watchd d english dubs]. Who tot he'd b addictive as ice cream spirnkled with, chocolate syrup & sugar? He's d bread & butter of Naija uni students or so I've been told. My new flavor of d month's Vampire Knight, I actually startd watchin' dat surprisinly afta it's 1st airin' due 2 luck & laziness. I didn't want 2 get addictd 2 anoda old public fave (Bleach) yet. Death Note was off d chain (Err...do ppl stil say that). Back 2d Yanks. There's Avatar: The Last Airbender or (: The Legend of Aang over here), thankfully, I listend 2 my sis when she told me 'bout it, 2 or was it 3 months ago, now I've 2 wait till July, there's still hope 4 Nick afta all. While Ben 10 & d new Ben 10: Alien Force (like Naruto Shippūden) reminds us there's hope 4 Cartoon Network. Just startd rewatchin' Daria, d only gd thing to come out of those dumb dumbs, Beavis & Buthead. Shiny. Now, I still waitin' 4 a kick ass Naij animatd series & video game.

Gosh, I really talk a lot. The new Futurama's comin' out by d end of this month! Go Bender, go Bender.

I just had 2 gloat

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:44:33 GMT

I just snaggd free tickets 2 Total Film's The Red Carpet Preview 2008. God bless seefilmfirst.com. I was mindin' my own biz, contemplatin hw not 2 get pizza, when I got d e-mail, I bookd those babies faster than I eat minstrels. Plus its only 10mins away. I'm goin' 4d goodie bags & I'm not dressing up. I can only guarantee a shower, combed hair [maybe] & perfume. Well @ least I don't get d live Q&A wit d "celebs" - u know, they think their aliens. Well I didn't know, it was apparently a big deal till I googled it. I don't even read Total Film, now I feel bad 4 ppl, who do.

Who knws, they cud kick my ass out. Oh, I'm gonna c neva b4 footage of Indi 4. Yippie-kay-yay....... [u cud always finish d sentence 4 me]

The Elusive Mario

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 14:33:10 GMT

Just read The Case of Mistaken Gamedenity. That crackd me up. She had d time 2 call EB Games district but cud't call her 11 yr old son. Basically d ITK wanted a Mario game........ that doesn't sound bad, does it? Ur wondering wat d punchline is....well.....she wanted it on the Xbox. For all u squares google/wiki Mario Bros, then u'll understand. Anyhoo, it was posted ova a yr ago, but it's stil funny.
I've had my share of funny customers - d y is my HD-DVD not working on my PS3 or y is my BLU-RAY not working on my DVD player or d HDDVD not working on my DVD player - but neva d crazy swearin 1s. Came 'cross 1 like that, but quickly explained, they smiled [yes male & female - grandparents, not only women], thankd me & I ran it thru d till. Fin, no crazyness. Apparently, she did it again in anoda EB Games store. Please, please, please, what's her name??

I kinda wish I met d crazy mother, wud actually go all d way 2 yanky just 2 meet her. God only knows what I would have done if I was d dude.

Gosh I'm mean

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:47:55 GMT

I just watched d Halle Berry's Oscar speech, gosh I laffed my ass off! The only person, who didn't get d 45s/60s speech limit. It took over 5mins! The crying, took about a min or 2, d breaths btw d crying took anoda minute, d rest was d thank us. The audience were in tears, but that cud hv been gd acting. All I did was laff for 5mins - this is d bit where loads of ppl wil scream racism, I wonder how they wud react when they find out I'm Nigerian [gets them everytime]. Tilda Swinton's speech cracked me up. Ari Sandle's d King of Speechs, talk bout organised. Apparently all Master Smith cud say was "yeah". Damn I've a lecture in 20mins. If ur bored, u cud always watch d Oscars utube page. Oh well, I'm off to wash my hands, I dont think they'd like d frozen clementine smell. Oh & WTF happend 2 Diablo Cody??? I was expecting witty ditty not this. + she was bout 2 release d floodgates, then wit dat dress - then come out wit dat crazy shizzle?!

On a random & kinda related note, hindsight's a bitch. U know d whole Eric Benét incident. Sometimes u wish u cud hv seen dat comin. Anoda comment, I think Tilda was takin d piss wit dat dress.

If I eva won an Oscar, I'd spend d 45/60s, sayin my customary "Oh boy", then d rest in silence, or I'd jump around like Cuba.

Don't u just luv....

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 16:27:46 GMT

...when an American tries to spread peace in d Middle East & d shit hits d fan. Erykah Badu tried. How in the name of Sheba, wud u praise Louis Farrakhan & Palestinian rappers in Tel Aviv & 4gt 2 mention their Isreali counterparts.

Imagine, last nite, am minding my own bizness chattin wit my lil sis & i gt my weekly email from vibedownloads tellin me Uncle Shege [dats Obasanjo aka OBJ, d ex-presido of my country] has some incest probelm. Apparently Uncle Shege's sleepin wit his son's wife AND his son's daughter. Moji [son's wife] has gotten some lucrative contracts cuz of that, wow fuckin 4 contracts - like thats new. Personally sleepin wit OBJ is anoda route 2 killin ur soul a la Flavor Flav.

thats d closest to socially conscious ur gettin from me dis month. Damn u tesco [5ways] 4 rearrangin everythin, I cudn't find a cold Oasis. Mmm I want a muffin.

Gimme, Gimme....

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:56:56 GMT

.....a u've gotta b kiddin me.....???I cant blive am bout 2 do dis - I sud b heading 2 d cinema 2 watch (wit my free ticket) Superbad - I am gonna talk about anoda social thingy (yes, em I'm losing my touch,am actually in touch wit d showbiz rats). Ms. BS formerly Mrs BK, Mrs BA (for 55hrs) & Miss BS. Yes, its ur dear Brittas (yes am so ashamed, that I will not spell her name). Since I cant get sat or cable, I didint watch d VMAs, but I got a clip of THAT performance by 5am dis morning (I actually stopped myself from bloggin). Was it just me, or was Miss Umbrella-ella-ella (my mum hates dis song wit a passion. She went on for bout half an hr moaning bout d number of times it was played on d radio & d no of umbrella n ellas in d song. I didn't tell her it was no.1 in d uk for ages and that it was actually rainin like crazy.) laffin @ BS (its not my fault, i.e. her initials).

Anyhoo, kiddo (she's 25, I'm 21. Smtin may b wrong wit dis statement), I hate to sound like a hypocrite but, get your ass to the gym (dont worry ur not fat). Remove those xtensions, practice lip-syncin n ur dance moves, and brush up on ur acting skills (2 mask d fact that u didnt want 2b there) and give kudos to danja and Keri Hilson (& co) for givin u ur nxt hit. But u got 2 admit twas funny and also embrassin' says d confused woman who needs 2 catch her 6.30 for Superbad.

yes, Danja we didn't c this coming. To BS - Work it Harder, Make it Better. Do it Faster, Makes us Stronger. More than ever, our after , Our Work is Never.

Update:Superbad was superfunny - as long as u hav no issues wit swearing & penis drawings. Atonement was fantasic(ally depressing, thank God I never read d book cuz no1 likes an unhappy ending). My inner man helped, cuz I wud hv been crying like crazy, thnx to him, I only had tears in my eyes. All in all they were worth every penny (twas free). BOTH Highly recommended.

happy belated 1yr anniversary.......

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 00:12:35 GMT

...........2d best comment of 2006...DRUMROLL please......"I play a sweet and beautiful girl in the film. The best thing that I like about the film is that though it has four heroes, I am the only heroine. Rohit Shetty is amazing as a director. He can make even a black African look pretty.". - Rimi Sen,now just Rimi (or Rimii). Apparently Sen is v common. And her real name Shoumitra ".......is so unusual."..... All am gonna say bout this is Iman.

Anyhoo, finally played GOW2 (like, i cant blive i just said like,a month n half). BLOODY worth it. Perks of my ocassional workplace - my video games lib. Infact i had been naggin since Jan, yup it worked.

Finally, Heroes has landed on british terresrial tv. After, i'd DLed all d episodes as they were airin in d US/Canada (thnx 2 global,i watched sm episodes b4 they aired in d US).

Random comment, just watched TV Junkie a few minutes ago. Wow, life sure sucks/sucked if u r Rick Kirkham. Really impressed wit d whole video camera thing (during d gd times n d bad), shame bout d marriage though. Oh well in d great words of Rick James - "cocaine is a hell of a drug".

And on my final random note, more belated Rimi-related news, apparently d dancing on Golmaal (2006 bollywood movie, d comment of 2006 came from an interview 4d movie's promotion), according 2 ultrabrown, was rather disappointing. Video on youtube.

Probably, d only BOLLYWOOD-related news, ur gonna get from me. "Here. Come. The. Drums!"

Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 20:46:07 GMT

Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

dammit!i didnt get hitler!

hw nt 2 lose

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 00:23:43 GMT

d story of ur life?currently listenin 2 "u put a move on my heart" by tamia.

sunday roundup

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:58:01 GMT

i got tired

ratha deep

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 00:19:41 GMT

"........Ignorance is Bliss and Stupidity is Learned. Wars make Money, Education creates Freedom. Thinking is not optional, it is a requirement from our origin."

found dis gem in 1 of d weirdest places.where?u ask.in a review of syriana.2 whoeva wrote dat kudos.+ u made sm typos which i correctd n am sure u jus did copy n paste.how do i knw?1.u aint like me n 2.d caps n 3.d spaces n 4.if u read d whole,u'd knw n 5.theres no 5.

anyhoo,well done.n 2 those who like/dont like d movie tough luck.but 1 things 4 sure,d spoonfeedin of rubbish plotlines n co sud stop soon.more tot provokin/eye openin movies (dats wat syriana's like 2 loads of yanks) sud b made.yes i luv som mindless blowin up like XXX2(was d prison xscape really necessary) n co like d nxt person,but its v refreshin 2 hv a gd mind bogglin n/or tot provokin movie 2.balance is all we need.

2 whom it may concern,u aint a scriptwriter,leave d damn lappy alone!

grandpa's resolutions

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 10:36:12 GMT

happy nw yr ppl.n keep ur resolutions simple.

comics

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 06:10:37 GMT

now am off 2 bed,gd morn

d forbes fictional 15

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 00:05:08 GMT

wasnt sure whetha its news or not.probably nt.anyhoo,d top 15 r drumroll pls.......

http://www.forbes.com/2005/11/29/forbes-fictional-rich_cx_mn_de_05fict15land.html

all we poor sods.D'ARVIT!stil workin on d subtilty

oh well

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 08:48:24 GMT

since am usin a vid codec,u gt 2 c it on d blog,weird aint it? it betta show

music video code by urbnmix.net
dem franchise boyz - i think they like me

apparently they dont like me

lets ry anoda 1,

music video code by urbnmix.net
ying yang twins - shake

its official dis site hates my guts,used 2 work 4 me,now jus bein a pain in d buttkin!AAAARRRGGGHH!

Dem Franchize Boyz f/Jermaine Dupri, DaBrat & Bow Wow - I Think They Like Me Remix
HTML Provided by: htmlvideocodes.com

3rd time's d charm,its shows on my preview but not on d publishd shit,oh well

d beauty of comics

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 16:51:45 GMT

closer 2 home by john mcpherson

oh well d boondocks by aaron mcgruder doesnt want 2 show,go d comics section on "my yahoo" or "my msn"

4 d bush pools political cartoons go 2 http://www.cagle.com/news/BushPolls/main.asp i jus luv em.if ur wonderin which 1 d unknown above is,its d shark 1.

if only life was dat fun.yes i hd 2 change my layout,all in d name 2c d whole pics,weird aint it?looks like am playin tetris.

d dress shivers

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 14:19:51 GMT

wonderin y its in entertainment???well any1 who knws me,knws i aint a dress person.anyhoo.....em.....since ur d only person readin dis.......wat do ya think?close my eyes n buy a dress dat wud do 2 my ass,wat d versace did 2 jlo boobs go watch dat particular vma awards,cnt remba which yr,go google it?or go in casual formal,som black jeans,a suit jacket n a wonderbra where did dat com 4rm,i said casual formal,not trashy formal,dat wud b intrestin,where wud i hide my tummy?*mmm wonders*

jus remberd anoda dilemma,am goin cardiff,d nxt week after n i've been been told 2 dress sexy *imajin dat*.stil wonderin,where d heck am i gonna get d money from??!

useless fact of d day:"am not a gal,not yet a woman"sound familiar?anyhoo,it means shes 20.y?b4 20 ur a teengr (a gal) after dat (21 n above),ur an adult.

am fillin generous,is d glass half empty or half full?its half empty,if ur takin (or sud i say drinkin) out of it.n half full if ur pourin into it

2face won!

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 22:28:45 GMT

if ur wonderin wat am on about.2face idibia (a 9jan singer) won mtv europe's 1st eva best african artist award.but as all my fellow naijans guessd,they didnt show it on d show!thank God i didnt watch it....they didnt even write it on d site,u hv 2 go 2 d african section of d shit,in other words go thru www.mtvbaseafrica.com bloody bastards wat was d use of all d ads n they didnt show any of d poor buggers,nt 1 single afriacn nominee.it took bout 20mins of my life 2 find it

yes dats d dude (c his head like coconut),at least he dressd well,sha congrats!hopefully nxt yr,we'll actually c d nominees.

found dis interestin

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 14:54:42 GMT

10 misconceptions about women

By Susan Hayden

As smart and capable as men can be, it's a wonder that most have yet to figure out women. To help, we approached a variety of women with some of the more common male perceptions of them and found out what they are really thinking. Though a highly subjective survey, here are some of the more interesting truths revealed from woman to man:

10. Man: Today's woman wants to be independent.
Woman: Yes, I may want my own job and my own life, but you should be aware that I also want the security of knowing that if I decide to stop working or get fired, you will take care of me for the rest of my life.

9. Man: Women dress provocatively so men will hit on them.
Woman: No, I dress this way to look good — to everyone. I don't necessarily want you to lust after me or even talk to me. Admire me, maybe — just don't come introduce yourself and expect me to hop in bed with you.

8. Man: Women always want to know what I'm "thinking."
Woman: I don't necessarily want to know your innermost feelings — I'm just curious about what goes on in that thick skull during downtime.

7. Man: Women are high-maintenance.
Woman: No, women just have more things to maintain — face, legs, bikini lines, etc.

6. Man: Along those same lines, women spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
Woman: I think men think we do this for them, when in reality, we do it for ourselves. The sexiest thing in the world is confidence, and I've learned as I grow older that it's not the style of my hair or my clothes, but how I feel in them and whether or not I feel at my best and most powerful. When I'm feeling hot is when I get the most head turns.

5. Man: She's after me for my money.
Woman: Women marry for love first, money second.

4. Man: Women blame everything on PMT.
Woman: If you had piercing bolts of pain down your back and felt like a keg was strapped to your belly two weeks out of every month, you would give blame where it's due, too. At least we let you know the cause of our whining and tantrums, and if we don't, you should already have it marked in your calendar with a note to bring us chocolate ice cream.

3. Man: Once married, or even in a long-term relationship, women are not interested in physical intimacy.
Woman: I'm just tired from taking care of you and your offspring.

2. Man: Women are too emotional.
Woman: Re-read #8, and get over it.

1. Man: Women are hard to read.
Woman: Pay attention. You'll get it eventually.

am guessin d guys r stil lost

in-ta-restin..........

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 00:34:50 GMT

this is d dude em's lustin after....... Daniel Brühl......dunno who d heck he is give me denzel anyday,anytime,any yr,any min,any hr,any week,any decade,any......shut up already!

em,u cn stop droolin now.......KK,hv u got d steak yet?i hv updated dis 4 em's benefit.seriously em stoop droolin

yes!

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 11:37:12 GMT

they cancelld d simple life! yes i need a life.....

em,am stil waitin 4 d said life........oh n paris,am stil waitin 4 d millions "we" talkd bout

cancelld shows

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 14:25:48 GMT

doncha wanna shoot those fat cats dat cancell all d gd shows??especially fox,geez!they cancelld dark angel twas v pissin,yea wit dat bloody cliffhanger in season 2;firefly i've no idea hw it was but d movie's made me a fan,+am a big joss whendon fan,i blive wat dat reviewer said "in a parallel universe,whendon wud hv written n directed star wars"jus imajin no wooden dialogue;futurama...gosh if i get dat bastard dat said scrap it...........he'd wish i was a reaver,yes b afraid chicken head (nt u em);tru callin....seriously dat dudes dead meat!n there r stil runnin d simple life!life aint fair!

well,other non-fox cancellations,witchblade...........my amnesia's caught up wit me.srry folks dats all she wrote.

wat show do u miss,dats been cancelld,since its only em dat wud reply,do tell

what's up doc?

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 23:28:08 GMT

not buggy's catch phrase,its a movie an old 1....i think 1972 2b precise.gosh,i luvd dat movie,laffd my ass off.if u hate barbra streisand,then dont watch it.......i think it my fave streisand film,she even lookd really pretty in it.d dude dat plays annette scarvo's father-in-law is in it.....who?!desperate housewives dufuss,c'mon d woman wit d horrible twins n co?stil dont get it?!stupid says wat.......wat?!i rest my case.

wat in God's name am i listenin 2?????galaxy is playin a song by nivea n r. kelly calld let it go i think,my bad they jus said d name is TOUCHING bloody hell,its talkin bout sex wit ur partner,talk bout direct.i hv only 1 lec 2morow YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS!!betta than herbal essence.saw d new h&m ad in d cinema,bloddy long!n mary j blige wat 2 caked up in make-up,stupid.......d'oh!

som chic is killin luther vandross' classic here n now,d dude cryin n rollin in his grave...hes actually dyin all ova again,poor fella

stupid still says wat..............wat?!

mr. & mrs. smith

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 02:25:24 GMT

watchd it yday.flippin gd!after all d hype since last yr,practically ran 2 d cinema,at least it cost 2quid.go amc!brangelina (yea i knw,wat a name.pls crazy ppl out there,dnt call ur kids dis) were actually gd.i tot it wud b ovarated,c'mon d hype has been crazy,actually hd a gd laff in som scenes,esp d confession scene dnt wrry no priests were hurt durin d production of dat scene,since no priests were available.

am shuttin up nw

i lied i didnt run.i moonwalkd

House of wax

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 20:43:01 GMT

ahh,dis movie is soo cliche ridden elements of all horror movies,literally cm 2 bite u in d ass.ouch!

i actually laffd durin d whole movie,nt a single scream escapd my lips nt 1,unless u call a gasp a sscream.as ucn imagine my fave scene was seein paris gttin killed a la javelin style her head was d bulls eye,hd d best n loudest laff here,d gal cn scream,i giv her dat.gd times....

anyhoo,d whole twin tin was gttin on my nerves.d whole gd n evil 1..cud kill d writers who btw r twins.BAA!a bd waste of sm gd talent (robert ri'chard).they made him more like a v horny bf wit music issues.nice gooey end tho.

do u hv an evil twin?

Paris Hilton

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 19:41:37 GMT

wat in God's name does dis child wnt?!d chic luvs attention like a sponge.it's painful dat she cud b d future owner of d hilton empire (eeck!).imagine in 2022,u go in d hilton n d bedroom all pink (drats!) n u hv ur own complimentry chihuahua (double drats!).INSTANT DEATH!well theres luv at 1st site (i call it luv at 1st foolishness),so dis wud b death at 1st glimpse (mayb at 1st breath,since it wud smell like her - ovapowerin n irritatin)

did u knw dat paris ad (d net version runs 4 a min)actually cuzed their server 2 crash.mayb d guys mistook it 4 1 nite in paris.d site was dwn 4 4hrs......we need denzel ads,men sudnt gt all d fun.d site wud b done 4 days mayb yrs.

em,rember d day we were watchin top of d pops.d guys gt an eyeful of kylie,jamelia's undawear,rachel stevens n co.n wat did we ladies gt?FATMAN fuckin SCOOP TOPLESS!DAMMIT!it aint fair!

bck 2 d issue,wetin u guys think bout paris?d best tin 2 happen 2 mankind/bimbo kind? or i dunno really ur call.......

paris,dnt 4gt bout d millions,i asked 4